After a year of discussion, resistance, and trepidation, my 81-year-old parents decided to take the leap and relocate closer to me. They were happy with their home in Georgia and loved their community. They had everything settled and in place, and had given a lot away, proactively down-sizing in the last decade.
Can’t we all relate to prioritizing comfort over change? Change is work. Change brings in the unknown. Change can be exhausting. Change can feel like a hassle.
With 57 years of marriage and over 30 moves from region to region to follow military orders and/or new jobs with government contractors, a move from North Georgia to the base of Signal Mountain, Tennessee was geographically amongst the easiest they’ve managed, but in a lot of ways (based on stage-of-life) the hardest.
The first order of business was asking how we could make this transition as easy as possible. That meant my parents needed to exercise some new skills! After decades of independence and facilitating their moves from coast to coast, they had to learn to rely on their children to assist with the coordination. My brother and I enjoyed how dad would simultaneously “delegate” tasks and project management in one moment, yet in the other moment, wondered why we weren’t running things by him for approval. As we progressed, it was fun to see his enjoyment when things happened “magically” and maybe weren’t perfect but showed notable progress.
We had to assemble a team of people who understood the unique needs of 81-year-old people. McKellar Newsom as our realtor showed a lot of persistence in hunting for properties. Homes we thought might be a good fit were often under contract before mom and dad could even load into their car to view the home. Our team at RockPointBank led by Stacey Beene streamlined the loan process so mom and dad could get into the new home without waiting to sell their current home, which was critical at this stage of life.
The heavy weight on our team was my brother who put his business and life in Florida on pause for a week to stay with us and help facilitate both the move and the unpacking. It was entertaining how my parents just wanted to visit with him instead of working on our lengthy checklist of tasks. Remarkably, he was able to accomplish a lot despite Mom’s extensive socializing, introducing him to conversations with friends (new and old) at both the former and current residences. From Mom’s perspective, it looked like her move was just one big party.
Something this experience with my parents highlights for me is that as we age, time becomes an even more valuable commodity. I’ve spent decades in a trust department with clients who had accrued wealth and in later stages of life, began to shift priorities from wealth accumulation to preservation and distribution. Stewardship later in life can mean investing in things, services, and conveniences to enhance quality of life and to provide essential care. That care must solve social, emotional as well as physical needs.
In this stage, individuals and families often contemplate legacy questions around “what will I leave behind – financial resources, a values system, history, and memories”. To be part of a financial team assisting an individual and family in navigating these questions is such a privilege and incredibly stimulating work.
We are still early days of this fresh start for my parents, and so far, it’s been a fun adventure. I’ve enjoyed seeing them interact with neighbors in their new community, and contemplating activities they will want to participate in. The home is bright, pretty, and cheery with a great view of the mountain. They have privacy with a park, trees, birds, and occasionally a deer right outside their front door.
Notably, Mom and Dad seem to be in an upbeat mood and even more physically active and engaged. They’re making plans as we continue to unpack, re-orient, and think about possible new acquisitions that will make living in this new home familiar and comfortable.
Observing their energetic response to the move reminds me that change can usher in experiences that are healthy, exciting, fresh, and stimulating. Change means new connections, learning new routines, and adapting. It’s great for our bodies, our brains, and our sense of connection. At 81 years of age, my parents are demonstrating the importance of embracing change to foster well-being which is a great reminder for us all.
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